Monsterstuck
by memelordvoldemort
Summary: Twenty years ago, the existence of a variety of strange and somewhat humanoid creatures began. Now there's just a few scared kids against a harsh and terrifying world. Follow Karkat, ordinary guy, and John, ex-ordinary guy, as they discover their haven and realize how much it sucks to be a monster. Excuse the summary, and enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: (John)**

**_Put Bluntly, A Living Man Dies For A Dead Boy_**

**The last thought John Egbert had as a living human being was this: '****_Crap, I have to do the dishes tonight.' _****Not very crucial or dramatic, but it didn't really matter because at that moment John Egbert was hit by a silver minivan. His neck, legs, and a few ribs broke. He had been walking home from school. It was a Tuesday. John Egbert had never considered the possibility that he would die on a Tuesday. **

**John Egbert's first thought as an undead human being was 'Holy shit, I'm a ghost.' John Egbert had a habit of stating things simply. And was true. There he was, floating ('Oh my fuck, I'm ****_floating'_****) above his own corpse. John Egbert was not terribly shocked, but that is not surprising. After all, ghosts were not a rare thing in his world. **

**According to the U.S. Census Bureau, ****"****_about one in every 100,000 human beings becomes a ghost post-mortem. However, this does not apply to gorgons, centaurs, mermaids, nagas, and other beings categorized under the term 'Monster.'"_**

**The thing about becoming a ghost was that you were then one of the creatures**** "****_categorized under the term 'Monster.'" _****And monsters were not very well-liked. And so, as the people in the silver minivan filed out and stood around his body, John flew home ****_('Holy dicks, _****_flying_****'****_)_****. His father was a logical man with very little prejudice, and would probably know how to handle such a strange and unfortunate situation.**

**Charles Egbert was a logical man with very little prejudice. However, these positive traits did not stop him from feeling a mixture of negative feelings when his son's ghost tentatively floated into the kitchen, explaining what had happened. Charles was bombarded with shock at his son's sudden not-alive-ness, grief, again at his son's not-alive-ness, and almost immediate worry regarding the protection of his not-alive son. He was a man of very little words, and so instead of attempting to find the right thing to say for the current situation, he attempted to hug his son in a comforting manner. Trying to have a father-son hug to offer consolement and better the situation failed as his son was a ghost, and the aftermath left him feeling somewhat hopeless.**

**From what John told him he'd been about four blocks from the house when he died, which meant plenty of opportunities for sightings and recognition while he was flying home. Ever since monsters and ghosts had started appearing about twenty years ago, the world had deemed the creatures unholy. A religious revolution had spread throughout the continent, and suddenly everyone was a fanatic. They thought the monsters were signs of the apocalypse. If anyone had seen John, things could escalate quickly.**

**Well, things escalated quickly. A few of the neighbors had seen John entering the house, and had called the local authorities. People flooded into the yard with ready-made signs quoting Revelations, and a few rifles. It didn't daunt Charles. He sat calmly in the living room while John looked nervously outside. The boy was babbling about how they'd be okay, right? Those people can't be serious, can they? **

**Then the crowd pulled out their lighters. Due to numerous tests, people had discovered that ghosts can be killed by one thing: fire. How they figured that out is both intriguing and very sad to think about. They also knew Charles was in the house. They did not care..The lighters were raised into the air by exactly forty seven arms- it was morbidly beautiful in hindsight- and were flung at the Egbert house.**

**The bushes caught first, the beautiful rocking chair on the porch second. The rest soon followed. The fact that there was no escape was made evident as flames entered the living room and the crowd of angry people grew. Charles Egbert felt fear run through his veins like ice water, but more important than the fear was the instinct to save his son.**

**Charles Egbert was a man of few words, which meant when he spoke it was important. "John." His son looked over with wide eyes. "You have to leave." "I won't leave you! You have no way out!" "I need you to be okay. Please, you need to go." John nodded, tears streaming down his ghostly face. And so, as his father sat on a couch that was starting to smoke trying to die bravely for his child, John Egbert flew out of the chimney and as fast as he could away from his terrible, terrible town and the people that had betrayed him. He tried to figure out his plans for the future, not sure where in the world someone like him could be safe.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: (Karkat)

_An Ordinary Guy Begins An Adventure. It Soon Ends Badly._

In all of his seventeen years of life,Karkat Vantas had never been on an adventure. The most exciting thing he had ever done was ride a mediocre rollercoaster at a local amusement park. He'd never even left his state. How sad was that? Jesus, he had to do something cool before he got old, or else he'd be boring forever.

He blamed his parents. They'd kicked him out because got expelled from school. Honestly, they should have been proud of him for waiting until senior year to get into a real fight. And he couldn't help himself! Those neanderthals were hurting that kid. Something had to be done. So, yes, he punched that kid in the jaw. And maybe he broke that guy's nose. He wasn't sure what his parents had expected after seven years of boxing and self defense classes. The real problem was when he kicked this one guy in the stomach and broke three of his ribs.

Yeah, he had a few scrapes. A chipped tooth. A split lip. Well, that sophomore was gonna get a burn on his arm in the shape of a cigarette. Was it worth it? Completely. Did the principal care why he did it? No. Broken ribs were broken ribs, no matter what the cause of them. And so he was expelled. A month before graduation. God dammit.

So with nothing to do and nowhere to go, he borrowed some money from some uncle and used some money from his old after-school job and bought a small boat. He'd been saving for a car, but they lived next to the beach and it was a pretty nice boat. So, he decided that with no future ahead of him he would take the boat out into the ocean and see where it took him. Not smart. Not anywhere near smart.

Of course there was a one time he wants to do something special, a storm happens. Oh and a record one too! De. Fucking. Lightful. "Fuck you, universe!" he screamed to nothing in particular as he tried to somehow steer the boat towards the shore, which was conveniently fourteen miles away. He hoped he'd make it.

He didn't make it. His boat capsized and he was sucked into the waves. Why couldn't he have just not beaten up those guys? Why did he have to want to be special? He should have just been content with mediocrity, with rollercoasters, with being boring and ordinary and graduating high school and having a home to live in.

Karkat Vantas's last thought before unconsciousness hit was this: '_Being human sucks.'_


End file.
